Through the Valley

 

 

This blog is where I share thoughts on sales and leadership. Today isn’t about sales, but I can’t think of a more appropriate post about leadership.

 

The greatest leader of my lifetime isn’t some guru, author, or speaker. I learned my greatest lessons from my parents. This post is about my mom:

 

 

 

Bernice “Bump” Gaines, the legend.

 

 

 

 

3 Lessons My Mom Taught Me

 

 

 

1. Truth isn’t everything.

 

I was already a genius when I was 17 years old because all 17-year-olds think they’re brilliant. My father asked a question during dinner that no one wanted to answer, but I reluctantly answered the question. My answer was accurate, and everyone knew it was true.

 

Following dinner, my mom found me in my room and let me have it. While my answer may have been true, it was also WRONG. She felt my answer could be taken as being disrespectful to my father.

It can be very easy to confuse what we think is true, direct, or blunt with being rude or inappropriate.   According to her, I was both rude and inappropriate in my father’s presence.

She knew what I didn’t at that age and forced me to apologize.  What I said may have been true, but I had no business saying it. Once I became a man, I learned that the most important thing to a man isn’t love. It’s respect! Without it, there is no love. She was right, and I was wrong.

 

 

I learned to respect my father even more because of my mom.

 

 

2. Love – Real Love has muscles!

 

My mom wasn’t a damsel in distress. She didn’t fit the fairy godmother descriptions that are too common for describing mothers.

No, my mom was a fighter. If you’re in a fight, you want Bump as your wingwoman.  If you bring the tent, she’ll bring the Circus.  She may not start the fight, but she was a closer!

 

If you were an adult and she believed you were even thinking about causing harm to one of her children, she’d take you down! She was ferocious. She loved to laugh, and she could be very encouraging.  But, don’t get it twisted—she would get with you if she felt the situation required it.

 

Too many people today have confused love with infatuation when it comes to children. They’re too busy trying to be friends.  Real love is demonstrated when we do what’s best for them, even if it goes against what they like or want.

 

 

3. You can always call home.

 

I’m not a person who likes to talk about my problems.  I regret greatly the few times I made the mistake of doing so in the past. The world could be crumbling now, and you would never know it. It’s not an act, good or bad; it’s my way.

 

When things got really dark with health challenges with my children that even my parents had never faced themselves, I would call home to chat.  Initially, we’d have surface conversations and may even find something to chuckle about.  However, when the conversation slowed, she would lean in.

What’s wrong, baby?

I gave guarded answers to mask my frustrations and fear, but it didn’t matter. She burned right through my defenses like paper.

 

 

Then, like clockwork, she would ask me to hold on a minute. I waited while she retrieved an old dusty book. Once she had it, she turned to a familiar story — the 23rd Psalm.

She knew it by heart, as I did, but she wouldn’t trust her memory.  It was too important. I listened as she took her time to frame the words.  It was more than the words; it was that she cared enough to read them to me.

 

This scene played itself out several times over the years whenever I found myself surrounded by situations where I had no answers.

 

She didn’t give me any solutions, but I didn’t need any. She comforted me during the storm. I can still hear her voice when she got to one of my favorite segments from that passage—the fourth verse.

 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For you are with me. 

Your rod and Your staff comfort me. 

I wasn’t alone.  She reminded me that I had company even if I didn’t know the way.

 

 

Walking in the dark with a friend

is better than walking alone in the light

~Helen Keller

 

My mom went home to be with the Lord 9 years ago, and my family hasn’t been the same. Sometimes, that happens when you lose a cornerstone.

Friends, I know you’re busy.  However, if you’re fortunate enough to have your parents in your life who were there for you – don’t just call; spend some time.  We’re only here for a little while.  Hopefully, you were blessed with a fighter like mine.

 

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom; I’m still learning from all those walks through the valley.

 

 

 

For other stories on personal achievement and leadership, find me here: https://www.teamsalescoach.com/blog/